It’s been harder than I thought to get started with this new blog; I’m used to writing more aimlessly and freely, so this brings a new challenge to my brain and fingers. I also have a tough time writing directly onto a computer; I favor paper a lot more. In college, I wrote 10-20 page papers out on looseleaf first. Typing was a subsequent formality. Sure my friends laughed at me, but I guess you could say that was my “process.” Once I wrote a 15-page Chaucer paper in my friend’s dorm room, that she had vacated for the semester. It was me, a pen and paper, some books, in a stuffy, blank, empty room. I was so miserable there but promised myself that I could not go back to my room till I finished. That was a long sleepless night, and then I had 15 pages of typing in ahead of me, but I couldn’t have done it any other way. Sometimes those pages of looseleaf displayed little crossing-out, as my mind seems to make few mistakes on paper. A computer screen results in a staring contest and unmoving fingers.

One of my latest writing endeavors is to write (then submit) a Modern Love essay to the New York Times. It’s pretty lofty, but I have a lot of faith in my story’s content and I want to write it regardless of publication possibilities. One of my difficulties with writing, is that though I have always written, I have rarely written for a specific purpose. I’ve never pitched an article or shaped a story according to guidelines. I’m starting to, and I’m not sure I like it. In addtion to the Modern Love story, I am begrudgingly working on a hospital story of mine that I was hoping to submit for a deadline of March 1 to a publication. I had thought that writing it in a Compositions notebook would inspire me more; it’s not just a notebook, it’s a Compositions notebook. I am composing something wonderful and unique, and yet, it sits on the floor most of the time.

So, no matter how many times people tell me how great of a writer I am, that I should write a novel, that my words make them laugh and cry, most of the time, I’d rather be cooking 7 dishes for a party, crocheting flowers, watching the sunlight come through the blinds and make diagonal lines everywhere, or playing with children. Then again, Agatha Christie said, “The best time for planning a book is while you’re doing the dishes.” I’m usually too concerned and excited by arranging the dishes in the rack in such a way that nothing will fall and everything will dry efficiently.

My boyfriend sent me this link about putting off writing, from someone’s blog: How to Complete a Writing Assignment

I wrote three funny ones of my own about a month ago, and will list one here
1)

7:00 a.m. Get up to pee, so severe pee urgency doesn’t wake me an hour later

8:00 a.m. Continue to peacefully sleep and NOT write

9:00 a.m. Put the coffee on

9:05 a.m. Begin drinking coffee

9:15 a.m. Wake up

9:20 a.m. Notice all the unfinished stories and novels on desktop; proceed to check email, read Gawker, and sign online

10:00 a.m. Check email 14 more times, just in case I was paypaled $1000 for *thinking* about writing a story

10:15 a.m. Open up a word document, stare at blank white page, promptly close it. No, I will not be saving the changes.

11:00 Read the paper instead, including all advertisements. For inspiration, right?

12:00 Lunch time, or breakfast. Whatever, time to watch TV!

1:00 Can’t possibly write without taking a shower first, i.e., take a shower

1:20 Whoever said cold showers wake you up clearly is not a procrastinating writer. Nap time!

3:30 Now I’m rested enough to start writing. But with only one more hour of daylight, I should squeeze in a bike ride first.

5:00 I really want to finish that “How to buy a kitchen table in New York City” story. Oh shit, what’s for dinner?!? F*ck, time to go to Key Food.

5:30 Read cookbooks and food magazines; cook a gourmet meal. Writers need sustenance!

6:30 Boyfriend comes home; eat gourmet meal with him while watching an assortment of gossip and celebrity shows. Again, more inspiration.

7:30 Contemplate writing a humorous You Know You Live in New York When story, then realize that finishing that sentence with “you have a large stack of unpaid bills” is not funny at all.

7:32 Contemplate various means to paying bills

7:34 Come up with solution: write a story, novel, anything that will be published and paid for! I have to do the dishes first though.

7:35 Do the dishes; should probably wash the stove too.

8:00 Time to hunker down and write? But that would be ignoring my live-in boyfriend. Time to hunker down with boyfriend.

9:00 Say “I should really write” a few times. Take a bubble bath instead.

9:30 Talk about many writing ideas with boyfriend; continue to hunker down with boyfriend.

10:00 Write the word “write” on to-do list for tomorrow, for the 4695748th time; Call it a night.